Category Archives: May

surviving east coast spring.

Posted in daily fashion, May, NYC Living by

Weather is a funny thing in Oklahoma. In the winter, which generally starts in late October, it stays about fifty degrees with a few bouts of serious storm weather. Then in May, you have an almost immediate shift into summer, where it’s at least eighty-five degrees but probably more like one hundred (or higher). And unless it’s a rainy summer, it stays blisteringly hot until October rolls back around, at which time it drops back down to winter temperatures. I guess Oklahoma (and Texas) never got the memo on seasons, because technically there is no spring or autumn.

However, New York seems to have been pretty good with the spring weather memo, and I’m a little embarrassed to say that I haven’t been very good at handling it. More than once I’ve gone ahead and dressed like summer, rolling my eyes at a spring jacket, and, well, I was cold. Even a low chance of rain here means that you should still take an umbrella and a rain jacket because, at some point, it’s still going to rain. And in a walking city, you definitely don’t want to be caught in that rain without an umbrella.

And after a few weeks, I’ve decided that spring probably isn’t going to go away if I ignore it. So it’s time to really go all out and dress for the season. I assume I have at least another month until it starts to really be consistently sweltering every day, so there’s plenty of time for practice.

However, a light coat isn’t always the only answer. Aside from the obvious cardigan, accessorizing is apparently the key to surviving spring. Tights and scarves, people. Tights and scarves. There are never too many good ways to tie a scarf when your main objective isn’t making sure that your neck isn’t going to get so cold that your head falls off your body. Here are a few scarves I’ve been eyeing lately:

francesca’s| anthro | gap

Though I am absolutely dying for summer to get here–I’ll always take being hot over being cold–I’m more than a little excited to put together spring outfits. There’s nothing like a new fashion challenge, right? And while I know I may be a little behind my city right now, I do live in a fashion capitol, which means that inspiration is literally around every corner.

What are your favorite spring looks? How do you like to wear your scarves?

Remember, you still have a few days to enter my $24 for 24 birthday giveaway!

[153] taking ownership of your decision-making abilities.

Posted in May by

I’m a pushover. I’m just going to go right out and say it. Most of you probably know it already. Want me to do you a small favor? Done. A bigger favor? Done. Pick up your kids and take them to their lessons, across town from one another? I’ll stop at Sonic and get them an after-school treat on the way.

I guess I’m not so much a pushover as I am a people-pleaser. I really want you to be happy, and if I can assist in that endeavor, by all means, I’ll do it. I’m an advocate of wanting everything to run as smoothly as possible. If I can pitch in and help something be better than it would be without my help, then I’m there.

But sometimes, it’s too much. And one thing I’ve learned over the last year is that it’s okay to say no.

The majority of the time, it really is just that easy. There are always exceptions, like it’s your job or your child or someone else who is utterly dependent on you, but if it’s your free time? It’s yours. You can spend it however you like.

If you don’t want to do something on your leisure time, you don’t have to.

It’s harder to say “because I don’t want to,” but, generally, that isn’t the only reason. It’s easy to say no without intentionally hurting the asker’s feelings.

  • I’m already committed
  • I don’t have the time
  • I really can’t afford to [    ] right now because I’m saving money
  • That’s not a person/place/thing I am comfortable supporting
Of course, if the asker keeps pushing you, it’s fine to say that you just don’t want to. At the least, you can pull a Bartleby and just say that you would prefer not to. It’s uncomfortable, sure, but really, what can he or she do after that? Unless they can slap you with legal action, you have nothing to lose by declining the invitation.
And this goes for dating, as well. If you don’t want to give someone your number, you don’t have to. If you don’t want to meet someone for drinks, you don’t have to. If you don’t want to see someone, you don’t have to! No one is making you go. With the obligatory exceptions, no one has ever said that just because someone asks you on a date, you have to go. If you aren’t interested, you don’t have to go. It’s definitely harder to let people down in this, when more emotion is invested, but a lot of people get sucked into unhappy relationships because they don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings. Believe me, this person will be much happier later if you hurt his or her feelings now.
So even if the truth is that you’d rather sit at home and watch NBC’s three-hour comedy block, you don’t have to admit that to anyone except the Internet if you don’t want to. You can just politely decline, and call it a day.
This isn’t to say that everyone should just be selfish all the time – those with giving hearts are admirable. I find myself doing favors for other people frequently – not because I’m a saint, but because I want people to be happy. But you don’t have to do everything that people ask of you every single time.
After all, I think everyone prefers sanity over a tired and overworked friend who’ll probably forget something on the list because the list is just so long. I know I do.
What do you think? When do you say when?

[152] and the deals just keep coming.

Posted in May by

It’s been a busy day of riding on an Etsy high, that’s for sure. I’ve already had two sales, which is entirely thrilling, and I have them packed up to go out tomorrow. All of the reactions have been so positive, and it’s been such an encouragement to me. I’ve had a few more ideas come to mind this afternoon and evening, so look for those on the near horizon.

My very first customer was my sweet friend Cara, who’s getting married in a week and a half, and ordered my Pearl Wheel Post Earrings. She’s also getting a little sweet surprise for being my first customer, but I’ll let her tell you about that when she gets it in the mail. I don’t really know what she was doing awake between 3 AM and 8:30 AM when I was sleeping, but she managed to be the first to snag a sweet pair of earrings.

Other than Etsy, my life doesn’t have a whole lot going on at this moment. Today was my first day back to work after my weekend off, and it was really nice. I miss the store and my coworkers when I’m not there, and it was great to be back!

And since they already announced it on the blog tonight, I think it’s safe to promote it here – starting tomorrow and running through the weekend, you can buy one piece of apparel and get the second HALF off. Regular price and sale apparel – all of it counts!

So get thee to a Francesca’s this weekend to grab some steals! Just FYI, we got in a navy dress with tiny white horses all over it today. There are a lot of cute things for summer!

And because I only got a few hours of sleep last night, it’s time for this girl to get to bed.

As always, remember to go comment for your entry in my Magpie Nest Necklace giveaway!

[151] it’s etsy time + magpie nest necklace giveaway

Posted in May by

Yes, it’s really here. I’ve been putting it off for months, but I’ve finally put together my Etsy store. I don’t have all of my things listed in it yet, but everything that was finished tonight is now in it.

What’s it called? Well, what else? Mustard Ampersand Jewelry and Crafts. Right now it’s just jewelry, but there are crafts coming! So hop on over and see what’s in it!

For now, I’m focusing on charm and bird’s nest necklaces, as well as button crafts, which is generally earrings at the moment. I have a few more things in mind, but I won’t talk about them just yet. You’ll just have to wait and see!

Here are a few of the items that went up in the shop tonight:

Magpie Nest Necklace

Thatched Metal Button Earrings

ALREADY SOLD! Lots of other options, though!

Green Eggs Post Earrings

Of course, you’ll probably be the first to know when things are added to the store – you know I can’t keep a secret.

Speaking of keeping secrets, here’s one that I can’t keep any longer:

I’m giving away one of these Magpie Nest Necklaces to a lucky winner!

To enter:

  1. Comment on this post, telling me what your favorite item is in my Etsy store. (1 entry)
  2. Purchase something from my store – mention it here. (1 entry)
  3. Tweet about this giveaway! Mention it here and be sure to put my handle somewhere in the tweet (1 entry, @baileymichelle).
This giveaway will be open for one week, until Wednesday, June 8th, at which time I will randomly pick a winner via random.org. Be sure to make each entry a separate comment, so that I don’t miss any when I run them through the sorter. Good luck!

If you’re a frequent commenter, here’s your potential payoff. If you’ve never commented before – do it now, because you might get something out of it for free!

[150] memorial day.

Posted in May by

150 days. Doesn’t that seem like a lot of days? It really is.

For the past few days, I’ve spent the half hour or so before bed looking at apartments in Brooklyn and Queens. I’m leaning toward Queens, just because it looks like it might be easier to get into the city from there, but I guess for now I’m just shooting in the dark. Add that to the list of things to add people who are more knowledgeable about NYC than I am, I suppose.

It’s kind of incredible that this is all coming together. There was a little while there where I thought maybe it wasn’t going to, but really, I’ve set my mind to it and there’s really nothing else to say than I’M MOVING TO NEW YORK. In fewer than six months. What?

I’ve done a lot of crafting this weekend, and I’m proud to announce that tomorrow is the grand opening of my Etsy store. I’ll definitely post about it tomorrow, don’t worry. One of my favorite pieces is a bird’s nest necklace (there are a few, actually), and I think they’re adorable. When I showed it to my dad, however, he asked if it was a neutron.

So. You can decide for yourself if you like it. Because tomorrow they will be online!

One of my goals with my Etsy is to make that my spending money. I know beginnings are rough and it might take a while to kick off, but if I keep filling it with things that I love, surely it will work out. I just really need to be saving as much money as possible, and while I’m not planning on striking it rich through small handmade crafts, I am hoping that it’ll help me keep more of my paycheck in the bank.

I’m going to stop talking about Etsy now, since I don’t actually have anything to show for it at this exact moment. I would show you the picture I took earlier, but it’s an iPhone picture and therefore the quality is embarrassingly poor. And I don’t want that to represent me.

So, because it’s late, and I have a coffee date in the morning, I’m going to end this sad disjointed post. I hope you’ve had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!

Speaking of Memorial Day, I really do hope everyone took a moment to think about everyone who’s served our country and really, who’s served us in any capacity. I’m a pacifist to heart and I really don’t agree with war, it doesn’t change the fact that there are people who have done so much to make it so that I can have that stance. And they’ll continue to protect us – and, you know, that’s something they believe in wholeheartedly, so I am thankful for their hearts and for them. I hope you are, too.

[148] back from the internet detox.

Posted in May, Uncategorized by

Do you ever have those times where you just need to have an Internet detox? That’s how I’ve felt for the past week or so. I really wasn’t expecting this WordPress dashboard redesign when I came back, though. Surprise!

I’ve had a few days off in a row and been home alone, which has been kind of like a mini-vacation. I refuse to use the word staycation. I haven’t done a whole lot outside the house, but I have done a lot of organizing and thinking. And one thing I’ve realized is that I’ve spent a lot of the last decade being angry – angry with my parents, angry with a lot of people in my life, and mostly, angry with myself. All for various reasons – but over the last six months, I’ve let go of a lot of that. I’ve had some conversations and some confrontations, and I really feel like my life is getting sorted.

I don’t want to leave here with any grudges in my heart. That’s no way to exit.

When I read the end of Jonathan Tropper’s THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU tonight, he had a really solid paragraph that really summed up my feelings about all of this. It’s from one brother to another, and the specifics aren’t relevant, but bear with me.

Yeah, well, the point is I’ve been pissed at you for a very long time and that didn’t do either of us any good. I wasted a lot of time being angry, time I can’t get back. And now I see you, so angry about what happened to your marriage, and I just want to tell you, at some point it doesn’t matter who was right and who was wrong. At some point, being angry is just another bad habit, like smoking, and you keep poisoning yourself without thinking about it.

Anger is born purely out of unhappiness, and that’s all there is to it. Happy people aren’t angry. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m somewhat lacking a social life right now, or if it’s because I’m growing up, or what, but right now, I’m happy. I’m not angry. Things are pretty good right now, and the outlook is good for the future, too.

I know it’s easy to say, “Just throw your unhappiness away, turn your problems to God, just let it go.” It’s easy to say it. It’s hard to do it. I know that’s not an earth-shattering revelation to anyone. But if you consciously make yourself think of more good things than bad things every day, then I think you’ll find a change. For every bad thing that you grumble about, find a match in a good thing for that day. Sometimes the bad things get us down, but not always, they don’t have to.

If you’re interested, I just finished reading THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU and reviewed it on Goodreads. I liked it and would recommend it, but I wouldn’t say it’s one of my favorites. It’s definitely my style, but I had problems with it feeling contrived and with the characterization.

[139] the beginning and end of the college era.

Posted in May by

This is one of the only pictures I’ve seen of me with my cousins Calli and Brinley that I’ve really thought, “Wow, we really look related.” We don’t have a lot of the same features, but there’s just something here that makes me realize how alike we really look. Or maybe that Calli and I could just about be cut from the same cloth – it’s probably a good thing we grew up hours from each other, or we’d have caused a lot more headaches than we have already.

Today I was fortunate to be able to witness Calli’s high school graduation. My mom and I drove a few hours up to Kansas City this afternoon, and she graduated this evening. It was so great to see her walk across the stage and be the person cheering from the crowd. I did my best to embarrass her publicly, so you know we all had a good time.

And the more the evening went on, the more I started thinking about how she’s entering a phase of life that I have – literally – just left. Because college is such a special time in life. I don’t know if I’d repeat my undergrad experience for anything, but it is definitely a time of life unlike any other. It just feels weird to be exiting this phase of life while she’s just entering it – I really want her to have the best time in college. I know she will.

She’s going to OSU in the fall, which is exciting because it’s such a fun campus – but it also means that I guess I’ll have to really be a Pokes fan now. Don’t worry, I’m not forsaking my Sooner allegiance, but other than Bedlam, I suppose I’ll have to keep my cowboy boots out in support.

I didn’t have very many pieces of advice to give her tonight, mostly because I didn’t think about it until I got here, but this is what I told her:

  • Buy your books online, not in the bookstore.
  • Wear shoes in the shower, no matter how silly you feel. Foot fungus isn’t cute.
  • Just go to class. Half of passing college is going to class.
I’m going to think of more over the summer and have a list of sorts for her, but I’m going to ask you. What do you wish someone would have told you before you started college? What would you have done differently your freshman year?

[137] anniversaries.

Posted in May by

Today marks my one-year anniversary of working for Francesca’s Collections. It doesn’t really feel like I’ve worked there for a year, does it? I guess I’ve only really been conscious of what was going on in my life for the last five months or so, and maybe that’s why, but a year is something, isn’t it?

To tell you the truth, this isn’t exactly where I saw myself being right out of college. But as we all know, plans never really turn out to be what we think they will be, do they? I don’t know a single person I went to college with who’s doing exactly what they pictured themselves doing at the start of summer 2011.

Because when it all comes down to it, the plans we make aren’t necessarily what’s best for us. We may think it’s what we want, but it’s really not.

If you know me, you know that making plans is my style. I like to have a set plan for what I’m going to do, where I’m going to be, who I’m going to be with. I like knowing what people are thinking and what they’re going to do next. I’m always asking, “Well, what’s the plan?” If I don’t have a plan, I’m probably not going to go. Seeing Bridesmaids with only 30 minutes notice was probably the most spontaneous thing I’ve done in months. I get a rush of adrenaline when I change my mind at the last minute. It’s hard for me to live on the edge.

But sometimes, what you need is to have a little uncertainty, a little risk. No risk leads to complacency, which is the worst habit we can fall into.

And having let my life take the course it has, building myself back up from last year, working in every way I can to find my way back to the person I used to be, the person I want to be – that hasn’t been easy. It’s taken a lot of planning, but it’s also taken a lot of falling back on God, trusting him when I don’t know what else to do. That’s hard for me. I like to be in control of the situation.

It’s not always the best thing to be in control of everything. There’s no room for change or growth if you always know what you’re doing and you’re always running the show. I’ve learned so much over the last year, and I can say that I’m definitely a better person for it.

Sometimes it’s important to remember that we can’t force things to happen because that’s according to “the plan.”

But sometimes, sometimes, if we fight like nothing else for what we want, it turns out to be the best thing for us. And that’s why I’m not letting go of my serious plans.