Five Jurassic Park Scenes Scarier than the Raptors in the Kitchen

Screen Shot 2013-04-15 at 9.08.14 PMLast weekend, I went to go see Jurassic Park in IMAX 3D with Harry and a few of our friends, and I have to say that it was probably one of the best decisions I’ve made in a while. I saw it about a year and a half ago at a Christmas event at the 92Y Tribeca, but before that it had been at least ten years (maybe fifteen?) since I’d last seen it. When I was growing up, that movie gave me nightmares, and not just, like, one or two. Regularly, and for months. I can’t tell you how afraid I was going around corners looking for dinosaurs to jump out and snap me in half.

I mean, it was the nineties, right? Anything could happen. That with a healthy dose of Are You Afraid of the Dark? and other such things had the very intended effect of the scaring me nearly to death as a child.

However, I remember very vividly from childhood that the most terrifying scene in that movie is the infamous raptors in the kitchen scene. While I’m not saying that scene isn’t scary–because you’d better believe I had my legs up in my seat at that point–I’m just saying that there are some other scenes in Jurassic Park that made me jump a little higher and gasp a little harder.

I tried to make a list of the top ten moments scarier than the kitchen scene, but then I decided that it ranks too high in scary moments in that movie for there to be ten higher. So I went with five, and I’m satisfactorily freaked out again. This list does, in fact, contain spoilers for a movie that came out in 1993, so if you’re worried about that, you should probably back away now.

5. Near the end of the movie, when Dr. Grant and the kids are climbing over the (off) electric fence while Ellie is racing to turn the power back on. I’m not sure that this qualifies as really scary, but it’s definitely suspenseful – maybe one of the more tense moments in the movie, especially when you think that Tim might have really died this time.

4. When Lex falls through the ceiling tile and is barely pulled back up in time to prevent the raptor pulling her down and eating her? Yeah, no thanks.

3. Remember how Laura Dern and Richard Attenborough go to pick up Jeff Goldblum (well, ostensibly, anyone else, but he was there, I guess) and they drive away, chased by the T Rex? Yeah, it’s pretty sweat-inducing to actually feel like a large dinosaur is chasing you, since you actually have your back firmly up against the back of your seat.

2. It’s still pretty horrific pretty early on in the Dinosaurs Have Arrived part of the movie (so, like, 25 minutes in) when the power goes out and the T Rex completely destroys one of the electric cars. Of course, it’s the one that the kids are in, and watching this movie in 3D as it bears down on

1. By far, the moment in this movie that most freaked me out was when Laura Dern goes into the other end of the compound to turn the power back on, and after she does so, the raptor leaps out of the power cords at her. I don’t think that I’ve ever moved that rapidly into a seated fetal position in my entire life. Maybe it isn’t the kitchen scene, but the raptors still reign supreme as the most terrifying part of that movie. And you know what? I’m just, uh, going to let them have it.

Honorable mention in this list of horrifying moments is the iron grip I had on Harry’s hand for most of the second half of the movie. I’m sure it was pretty gross and sweaty along with being a death grip, so a big cheers to him for being a good sport.

All in all, Jurassic Park is a fantastic movie, even if it scared me pretty much as strongly now as it did when I was a small Mustard Ampersand. And no, I don’t think it’s really as scary for most people as it is to me, but no one can deny that there are some moments in this movie that will really get you if you aren’t expecting them.

 

I went to see Beasts of the Southern Wild with a good friend last night and fell in love. It wasn’t what I thought it was going to be, but I didn’t know much about it going in so I was pleasantly surprised (and also slightly torn apart by emotion, so, you know). If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend that you do so as soon as you can.

One of my favorite theaters here is the Landmark Sunshine Cinemain the Lower East Side. They only have a few screens and show pretty much only indie or cult films. While I was buying my ticket, I noticed they’re having midnight showings of American Psycho all weekend. I mean, how great is that?

Movie Review: Ides of March

Full disclosure: This review contains some spoilers.

With star power like this and the added bonus of extreme timeliness, there’s no way The Ides of March won’t be a hit. All of the actors deliver stellar performances – Clooney is Clooney, Gosling is the rising star, Hoffman is the scene stealer, Giamatti is the jovial villain, Tomei is the knowing female, and ERW is the naive young woman. Basically, they all fit nicely into their niche roles – ERW being the least typecast of the bunch, but not by much. But there is definitely a reason all of these actors have these kinds of roles, and this film proves that. I had imagined this to be a Clooney/Gosling film, but really, it was a pretty quality ensemble act. I don’t have much to say about the plot – it’s fairly straightforward. A naive strategist is corrupted by the inevitable path of politics, and then has to deal with the consequences. But this is a sharp, well-written and well-directed film. Without getting too film-school-pretentious on you, there were a lot of things that were meaningful outside of the basics on screen.

More importantly, I think this film is one that will stick around. This is a critical time for the United States, politically, and this film hits upon so many of those small nerves – so many, in fact, that it makes an incredibly strong statement about us right now. In a time when the Good Old Boys club is starting – just starting – to crumble around us, this film exposes the underhanded dealings and “understandings” of modern politics. This is a film about the corruption of a smart but doe-eyed strategist, one whose loyalties change completely from the beginning of the film to the end. Early on, Gosling’s Stephen says that he’ll do or say anything, as long as he believes in it – and for a while, I assumed this was a trailer line, one thrown in for the benefit of those on the edge about seeing this. But it’s true. Early on, he believed in integrity, in dignity, Hoffman’s Paul, in Clooney’s Governor and presidential candidate Mike Morris. He truly believed a campaign could be run and won on honest terms. But by the end of the film, he believed only in himself and his ability to manipulate the situation to his own best benefit. He was sucked into the games he so clearly despised, and yet he does so because he believes this is his only choice, this is what he has to do.

One of my favorite parts of this film was Stephen’s inability to deal with the consequences of his own actions. While he had no problem firing Molly “for the good of the campaign,” he was unable to understand how he was being fired when he directly chose to damage the campaign on a personal level. When Paul fired him, he said, “You didn’t make a mistake. You made a choice.” And that sets the tone for the entire film. It was made very clear that within politics, there are no mistakes – only choices. That’s something Paul and Giamatti’s Tom Duffy understood; while both pretended to be on the up and up, as all good politicians do, they both clearly had very ulterior motives, most not revealed on screen. This is a film that made smart implications and expected intelligence from its viewers, which I always appreciate.

And at the same time, this film frustrated me beyond all reason. It perpetuated the fact that regardless of morals, the white men in charge are able to remain masters of politics without real consequence. Morris’ campaign was built on statements he couldn’t fully deliver, and yet he allegedly still succeeded. Lies and half-truths continue to penetrate politics, while citizens continue to believe them because there is no other option. The two women of substance in this film were utterly dependent on the men, for information and for meaning.

The daughter of the DNC Chairman, Molly had her position through family connections and was taken advantage of because of those connections. Eventually she chose suicide over reality, indicating that for a woman faced with her future at the hands of a political giant, she felt there was no other choice. She would rather take her own life than have her own decisions thrown back in her face, her life ruined by those who would deny her the agency to make her own choices without consequence. And when she’s dead, we see everything but her face – in what world is it okay to have her commit suicide, and not even show her face? It doesn’t get more disrespectful than that. Marisa Tomei’s Ida, a journalist who depends on her relationship with these men to continue her career, is the only woman with the potential to affect the plot – and yet she only appears to make things inconvenient for the men, rather than having an important part to play. If you count Morris’ wife as an important woman here, all there is to say is that she is disrespected both by the plot and by Morris, in pretty much every way. When the First Lady has the potential to be a truly powerful woman, dismissing her like this is truly a disservice. If you’re going to give women such a small part in a movie that will be seen by millions, every word, every movement is a statement.

While it’s true that a movie with this much star power can go nowhere but up, that doesn’t excuse it from misogyny and other problematic issues. If the point was to open discussion about the changes that need to be made in the political structure, it could have been more overt. The women and minority characters could have been more pointed. In a film very clearly directed at understanding the downward spiral into dirty politics, there should have been more of a statement made about privilege.

But while there are problems here, clearly, I think this film will probably stand up to time. It’s not just your average political thriller. It’s relevant at a point in time when politics are falling apart and statements like these need to be made, regardless of immediate problems. These problems are also part of the very thing that will make this film stand out – the lacks in this movie are just as important as the presences. It’s a statement on the way things are right now, when we’re on the cusp of extreme change in a world fed up with the obscured views we’ve been dealt by those rich enough to control them.

However, I will predict Oscar nominations for this movie. For acting, Gosling and possibly Hoffman and Giamatti. Clooney maybe, but I’m not counting on it. I wouldn’t be shocked by a Best Picture nom, either. Alexandre Desplat may score something for music, but it’s questionable at best – the moments where there was a lack of music were more potent than those scored. All in all, I anticipate some nominations and possibly some wins.

Problematic as it was, I would recommend this. I did thoroughly enjoy it, and I’m sure anyone with even a passing interest in politics would find this interesting. I haven’t read the play this was based on, Farragut North, but I intend to – if you have, how does it stack up?

day 25. I have a secret that’s really no secret at all.

Here it is: I love awards season. I LOVE IT. If you think the first thing I did today when I woke up wasn’t immediately check the Oscar noms, you would be wrong.

Oscar parties are one of my favorite things in the world. I went to one last year thrown by my friends Brittany and Tiffany, and they had Oscar ballots for us, a red carpet to take pictures on, and all kinds of cute decorations and fancy snacks. So fun! I’m not 100% on what I’m doing this year, but I’m pretty sure, and I’m really looking forward to it. I love getting dressed up for awards parties, too – it’s kind of like you’re there, but you don’t have to worry about cameras always being on you. Also there are no famous people in my living room. I don’t know about you, but…I don’t run around with famous people. I wish I did, but, there you have it.

Here are my picks for this year:

  • Best Picture – The King’s Speech. This was a really tough call, mostly because I’ve only seen about half of the films on the list, but I saw this a few days ago and was blown away. I think Inception might be my favorite movie I’ve seen this year, but I think The King’s Speech is the best movie of the year. Other serious contenders: Inception, The Social Network, Black Swan, The Kids Are All Right.
  • Lead Actor – Colin Firth, The King’s Speech. I’ll be extremely disappointed if anyone else takes this.
  • Supporting Actor – Geoffrey Rush, The King’s Speech. Again, I’ll be very disappointed if this doesn’t happen. I think Christian Bale might win for The Fighter, though.
  • Lead Actress – Annette Bening, The Kids Are All Right. Haven’t seen it, but I haven’t seen any of the movies in this category, so I choose Bening. She won the Golden Globe and apparently the film is phenom.
  • Supporting Actress – Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit. Haven’t seen it but heard she’s great. I didn’t pick HBC, mostly because while she is an incredible actress, I didn’t feel the role in The King’s Speech really gave her much to work with.
  • Animated Film – Toy Story 3. I’m not even going to explain this. It’s that obvious.
  • Art Direction – The King’s Speech. I really deliberated on this one, but when it came down to it, I really think the art direction of this film topped the rest. Other contenders: Inception, Deathly Hallows.
  • Cinematography – Black Swan. I still haven’t seen this, but from what I hear and from what I have seen, the camerawork is really good.
  • Costume Design – Alice in Wonderland. I almost picked The Tempest, but I think this demanded more originality and it was certainly delivered.
  • Directing – The Social Network. I just feel like TSN will take this one. I don’t know why. I just have a feeling.
  • Film Editing – Black Swan. Again, I just have a feeling.
  • Original Score – The Social Network. Incredible score that worked very well with the film. My second choice would be How to Train Your Dragon, but I really doubt that’s going to win, as unfortunate as that is.
  • Sound Editing – Toy Story 3. That or Inception.
  • Visual Effects – Alice in Wonderland. Other contenders: Deathly Hallows, Inception. I’ll be sick if Iron Man 2 wins this, or is critically recognized in any way.
  • Adapted Screenplay – The Social Network. Criticism aside, this was a well-written and very well-acted movie.
  • Original Screenplay – The Kids Are All Right. Other contenders: The King’s Speech, The Fighter.

I don’t know what it is about Inception, but I just don’t have a good feeling about it. It was truly an incredible film in almost every way, but honestly, it didn’t stand out in any of these categories. I’m very surprised LDC didn’t get nommed for Best Actor, but you get what you get, I suppose.

I don’t have a guess for makeup, mostly because I’m shocked that neither Alice in Wonderland nor Deathly Hallows made it into the category. Harry Potter films are always contenders for makeup – I was just very confused.

I left out the categories in which I have no opinion and not even a guess at what the winners would be, like short films. I like them, but I don’t see very many.

What are your picks?