As promised, here’s an update from the weekend. Harry’s parents have a house in upstate New York, so we went to spend the weekend away from the city, and it could not have come at a better time. I really needed a break post-move, as you probably remember, and this was exactly what I was looking for.

On Saturday morning, we got on the Metro North with friends Laura and Michelle and headed up to spend Saturday planning details of Laura’s wedding. She’s getting married here in June, so needed to hammer out some last minute details so we can really start making final progress on things, and I would say it was definitely a success.

Of course, no weekend is complete without some serious relaxing, so before Laura and Michelle left in the evening, we spent plenty of time eating barbecue, sitting around, and just generally enjoying being away from the city for a day.

And, of course, when I woke up Sunday morning, this was the view from the deck outside the bedroom, and pretty much my entire day was made.

I had a pretty rough week last week in a couple of ways, but this weekend has left me feeling relaxed, refreshed, and very, very happy with life in general. I feel like now I’m ready for summer, ready for fun and friends and lots of time spent together outside.

However, this time? That was not the case. We had everything planned out in advance, so it wasn’t a lack of planning or coordination that was the problem. Everything was just off by just enough to make it not work, which I think may have been more frustrating than had something been wrong because it was my own fault.

Harry took a day off work to help me, which honestly I could not appreciate more, and I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to do this without him. We rented a U-Haul truck, loaded everything up in it with the help of his roommate and my good friend Michelle, and just when we were ready to leave, I found out that I had crossed wires with one of my new roommates and couldn’t get the keys until later that afternoon, after we had to return our U-Haul. So we put most of my things in Harry and Michelle’s apartment (which is two blocks from my new place, so it’s not too inconvenient) and drove to the storage unit where we were going to put my big furniture. Unfortunately, we then had the wrong key, so all of that had to go back and be put in their apartment, too, and the U-Haul had to go back immediately. So we then cleaned my apartment and got everything out, and then quit for the evening.

So really, we got everything out, but just not quite with the timing we’d hoped for, and most of my stuff is still in Harry and Michelle’s living room, to be moved this next week when we have car access. Not ideal, but it really could have been a lot worse, I suppose.

I’ve had better moves, and even though pretty much everything went wrong with this one, I have to say that it wasn’t the worst day. I still got to spend my day with people I love, and we had a good time, even though I was out of my mind with stress. And the good thing is that now I have six months until I have to move again, so I’ll be able to take this and make sure it doesn’t happen again.

I’m able to take a step back this weekend, though, and relax at Harry’s parents’ house in upstate New York, so I’ll be back with a much more relaxed mind, body and soul after the weekend. See you next week, friends!

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For example, you can see here on the L (one of the more popular subway lines among the younger crowd) that income disparity increases dramatically once you go through the tunnel into Brooklyn. The total income per stop is still generally laughably high, considering the fact that everything, including salaries, is almost always higher in NYC. But still, the slice through Manhattan on 14th street tells you pretty much what you need to know about the way things are structured here, which is part of the reason I chose the L for this example. I personally live just about halfway through the Brooklyn half of the graph, where median income is still fairly high, although almost everyone I know out here works in a low-paying service industry job, living in Brooklyn to make it work.

Quoth Gothamist,

For instance, despite severalarticlesto the contrary, it appears that even artisan-packed Williamsburg has a ways to go before it will even approach Manhattan’s level of wealth—the median income drops precipitously between 14th Street and the hipster belt, dipping to $23,865 at Montrose Avenue, and enjoying a brief resurgence before plummeting to $12,288 at Sutter Avenue—the lowest point of any stop in the system. For comparison, the median income at 14th Street is $150,110. In just 18 stops—an estimated 30 minutes—there’s an income disparity of $137,822. The line with the most sweeping range, however, is the 2, which shuttles straphangers all the way from Lower Manhattan (Chambers Street: $205,192) to the Bronx (East 180th Street: $13,750).

The most ridiculous part, too–though it’s hard to pick just one–is that this is from 2011. With the way Brooklyn has come into being the hip new place to live, especially off the L in Williamsburg and Bushwick, this data may be more invalid than it seems. For example, I really doubt that Montrose Ave is the second-lowest on the income step anymore. Rent increased in Bushwick almost 300% in the last year, which means the average income may be higher now and the next US Census will probably see a sweeping change in the makeup of residents.

None of this is shocking to me, I guess. Everyone knows that Manhattan is ridiculously expensive, and it’s really no surprise that Brooklyn and Queens are headed that way, too. It doesn’t change the fact that I love living here and that every day makes it worth it for me. But really, this isn’t about me, and it is worth studying. As always, things are changing in New York, and only time will tell if it’s for the better.

I mean, it was the nineties, right? Anything could happen. That with a healthy dose of Are You Afraid of the Dark? and other such things had the very intended effect of the scaring me nearly to death as a child.

However, I remember very vividly from childhood that the most terrifying scene in that movie is the infamous raptors in the kitchen scene. While I’m not saying that scene isn’t scary–because you’d better believe I had my legs up in my seat at that point–I’m just saying that there are some other scenes in Jurassic Park that made me jump a little higher and gasp a little harder.

I tried to make a list of the top ten moments scarier than the kitchen scene, but then I decided that it ranks too high in scary moments in that movie for there to be ten higher. So I went with five, and I’m satisfactorily freaked out again. This list does, in fact, contain spoilers for a movie that came out in 1993, so if you’re worried about that, you should probably back away now.

5. Near the end of the movie, when Dr. Grant and the kids are climbing over the (off) electric fence while Ellie is racing to turn the power back on. I’m not sure that this qualifies as really scary, but it’s definitely suspenseful – maybe one of the more tense moments in the movie, especially when you think that Tim might have really died this time.

4. When Lex falls through the ceiling tile and is barely pulled back up in time to prevent the raptor pulling her down and eating her? Yeah, no thanks.

3. Remember how Laura Dern and Richard Attenborough go to pick up Jeff Goldblum (well, ostensibly, anyone else, but he was there, I guess) and they drive away, chased by the T Rex? Yeah, it’s pretty sweat-inducing to actually feel like a large dinosaur is chasing you, since you actually have your back firmly up against the back of your seat.

2. It’s still pretty horrific pretty early on in the Dinosaurs Have Arrived part of the movie (so, like, 25 minutes in) when the power goes out and the T Rex completely destroys one of the electric cars. Of course, it’s the one that the kids are in, and watching this movie in 3D as it bears down on

1. By far, the moment in this movie that most freaked me out was when Laura Dern goes into the other end of the compound to turn the power back on, and after she does so, the raptor leaps out of the power cords at her. I don’t think that I’ve ever moved that rapidly into a seated fetal position in my entire life. Maybe it isn’t the kitchen scene, but the raptors still reign supreme as the most terrifying part of that movie. And you know what? I’m just, uh, going to let them have it.

Honorable mention in this list of horrifying moments is the iron grip I had on Harry’s hand for most of the second half of the movie. I’m sure it was pretty gross and sweaty along with being a death grip, so a big cheers to him for being a good sport.

All in all, Jurassic Park is a fantastic movie, even if it scared me pretty much as strongly now as it did when I was a small Mustard Ampersand. And no, I don’t think it’s really as scary for most people as it is to me, but no one can deny that there are some moments in this movie that will really get you if you aren’t expecting them.

In the meantime, take a breather with this picture of Davis and me from our hotel tonight while we wait for the elevator. More actual pictures of New York to come, but I think this is one of my favorite pictures we’ve ever taken.

Filed under: NYC Living, Personal ]]> http://mustardampersand.com/2012/12/23/pre-christmas-quick-pic/feed/ 0 Bailey Screen Shot 2012-12-23 at 10.36.29 PM http://mustardampersand.com/2012/12/11/2012-breakdown-books-ive-read/ http://mustardampersand.com/2012/12/11/2012-breakdown-books-ive-read/#comments Tue, 11 Dec 2012 16:50:04 +0000 Bailey http://mustardampersand.com/?p=1629 ]]>  

Even though I can’t believe we’re mere weeks away from the end of the year, I decided it was probably time to start putting together some end of year lists. And because I’m slowly turning into Marshall from HIMYM (A bar chart of my favorite pies! A pie chart of my favorite bars!), I’m using my new best friend Pixelmator to make graphics for everything I possibly can.

I didn’t meet my Goodreads goal this year, but at the same time, I know I read a lot of pages. All of George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire books are 1000+ pages, so those all felt like four or five books in one, you know? And even though I didn’t meet the goal I set for myself at the beginning of the year, I’m very happy with what I read. Everything was quality and thought-provoking, and really, what more can you ask for in books?

Connect with me on Goodreads for next year’s books, and let me know what your favorite books were this year!

I know. I don’t really know what I was thinking when I decided to do it, but I just decided to go ahead and cut my own hair. I’ve put it off because I haven’t really been able to afford it, and I figured that my hair was long enough that I could just cut an even length off the end. I’ve been getting my hair cut at a styling school for the last few years, all of college, and so I felt like I’d observed enough technique to be able to give myself a trim. Plus I’ve cut my own bangs for several years, and that’s really easy. No reason to pay to do that when you can just do it in the sink in fifteen minutes.

Well, I cut a few inches off my hair as a trim, then decided it was too easy and I wanted it shorter, so I cut off a few more inches. And so, for the first time since 2007, my hair is shoulder-length.

There are things I miss about long hair, like being able to just throw it in a long braid and go, but at the same time, shorter hair is just such a relief. Somehow I magically cut layers into it (still mystified by that one), and on the whole I’ve found it much easier to take care of. Yes, I have to spend a little more time on it every day, but I like my hair so much better when I can wear it down and I can’t just throw it into a topknot and go. It was always a dilemma because I wanted to spend more time on my hair, but when it was so long, it was nearly impossible because I just don’t have that kind of time right now. However, now that I have shorter hair, the effort is minimal and the effect is so much greater.

Because I’m a giant narcissist, without further ado I present to you pictures of my hair courtesy of self portraits I’ve posted on Instagram in the last few weeks. First, the before:

And then, now, three after pictures from the last two weeks:

In the above one you can also see the new glasses I bought myself for my big Cyber Monday purchase, so I’m just a little bit closer in my transition into grandpa hipsterdom.

So that’s my haircut! The last picture is what it looks like when I curl it, which I love doing but haven’t had the time to do since it used to take me about 45 minutes to properly curl it up. Now it takes about half that time and looks way better.

So all in all, I’m super pleased with it, and although I probably won’t cut my own hair again unless I’m feeling really desperate, I’m really happy with the way it turned out this time.

This is a milestone for me. Other people have different milestones, but I knew when I moved here that if I was still happy with everything when I’d hit a year, I was going to be able to make it work. I’ve made it. I’m happy, to make the understatement of the year. My next milestone is turning 25 next May, and even though it feels like that should be the more important marker in my life, it’s not. Moving to New York has by far been the most monumental decision I’ve made in my life, and I’m not sure anything will change that. At least, not anytime soon.

One thing I’ve done is read accounts of people who move to New York for no real other reason than that they wanted to live in The Greatest City In The World ™. And, without fail, the one thing I have read over and over again was that the first year was the hardest. There will never be a time when you are more broke, filled with more despair, and wondering just how long you can continue this facade of hating yourself and hoping that if you can just make it past a year, a magical switch will flip and you will become successful. Or, at least, you’ll be able to escape this spiral of self-loathing and feel moderately content with where you’ve gotten.

I don’t know about any actual magical switches, but I will say that there is something suspiciously accurate about the one year mark. With almost exactly one year, to the day, of my anniversary of moving to the city, I can now say that I am working in two jobs that I could not possibly love more and that I’ve filled my life with the greatest people I’ve ever known. I could not be happier. My life could not be better. If I’ve been lax on blogging lately, it’s because I’m out with friends almost every night, and I’m financially stable in a way that I have never been as an adult.

Before I moved, a friend of mine from home gave me a gift: a beautiful silver keychain heart with the engraving ‘Faithful Optimism’. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last year, it’s that you have to be optimistic and you have to have faith in yourself, and that’s what you need to push through. You’ll also need help from other people, and maybe you’ll have to borrow money sometimes, and maybe you’ll have to ask for directions, and maybe it’ll be really humiliating because you really want to make it on your own and it’s a horrible feeling when you can’t. But eventually, you’ll pull through. You’ll meet the right people and get involved in the right crowds, and you’ll make the transition into being an adult.

There’s really something to be said for flexibility. When I moved to New York, I had a very specific plan for what I wanted to do and how I was going to get there. To put it succinctly, that plan did not work out. However, I took my opportunities where I could get them and made my networking connections and tried to find happiness where I could, and in the last month I’ve found that I could not be happier. I have two jobs that I love more than I’ve ever loved anything, and neither of them are something I ever thought I would end up doing. I mean, before I moved to NYC, working for a start-up wasn’t even on my radar, and now I can’t imagine doing anything else. I thrive on hard work and being busy and working long hours for something I love with a team of people who are just the same, and this kind of environment is perfect.

The crazy thing about catching a break in New York is that you feel like you don’t deserve it. The other shoe seems always about to drop. If you can slow down for just a second, though, let the adrenaline wash over you while you take a second to think about everything that’s happened to you, nothing can be more rewarding. Because you do deserve it. If you live here, you deserve to be happy. If you’ve made it here, you should be happy about it. The only person who can really make you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy is yourself. It’s easy to get down because you’re working so hard, nose so close to the grindstone, that you lose sight of the bigger picture and the reason you’re working. It’s really easy. But keep one eye on the reason you chose to live in New York, because you deserve to feel happy for how hard you’ve worked. You do deserve happiness and you deserve to catch your breath once in a while.

No, it’s not for everyone, and maybe it’s not always forever. I can’t see myself leaving anytime soon, but I really can’t say whether I’m going to live in New York for the rest of my life. There are so many other places in the world I want to see. I’m incredibly happy right now and there’s nothing I would change, but I also know that should I ever get tired, should living here ever stop being fun, should things get more difficult than I want them to be, then I’ll know it’s time to move on. There are no contingency plans as of yet, but it’s all about my perspective–if I’m ever so unhappy or depressed or poor that living here isn’t any fun, I’ll know it’s time. Of course, the first six months were a combination of the three, because I didn’t know anyone and finding a job was so much harder than I imagined, but once I made it out of the initial transition, it’s like I’m living a dream. It’s not for everyone, but it’s definitely for me, for right now, for as far as I can presently see.

The last year of my life has been absolutely irreplaceable, and I wouldn’t change a thing about it. It’s been up and down, for sure, but the ups have outweighed the downs more heavily than I can ever explain. Once I made the decision to move, it was always about moving forward and knowing that better was coming. It’s been a long twelve months, but I always knew it was going to be worth it. And I was right. Every single moment has been worth it, even the hard times, because more than ever I know who I am, who I want to be, and where I want to go with my life. And that’s something I’ll always keep close to my heart.